The Alcohol Thread.

[Gazza]

Two Jews are walking down an alleyway in Glasgow, and a gang of skin heads walk around the corner, one jew says to the other one here’s that 600 quid I owe you!

 

[Gazza]

A man gets onto a city bus and sees an attractive nun. Wanting to have sex with her, he goes up and asks, "Will you have sex with me?"

"Of course not!" the nun said unnervingly and got off the bus.

Before the depressed man left the bus, the bus driver stops him and says, "I know how you can screw her: On Sundays, she prays at the local cemetery. While she is praying, dress as God and she'll have sex with you. Put on a mask, robes, and a lot of glitter."

That Sunday, the man takes the advice, gets into the costume and hides behind a gravestone. Shortly, the nun appears and prays.

The man pops out from the gravestone and declares, "I am God, and I command you to have sex with me."

The nun replies, "Sure, but only if we have anal sex."

So they have anal sex.

After sex the man rips off his mask and laughs, I'm not God! I'm that man from the bus! Ha!"

Immediately the nun rips off her mask and says "Ha! I'm the bus driver!"

 

[Gazza]

What do you call an IT teacher who touches his students? A PDF file!

 

[Gazza]

What’s the worst thing about being a test tube baby?

you know your old man was a wanker!

 

[Gazza]

What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball!

 

[Deleted member cpr]

Q- WHAT did the Jewish pedo say to the kid.

A - Go easy on the lollies

 

[Gazza]

What’s the difference between an Iraqi and a pilchard ?

One’s greasy and slimy with bulging eyes and the others a fish!

 

[Deleted member cpr]

First time prisoner is locked up with his new cell mate.

Cell mate - "lets play! You wanna be mum or dad?"

Noob - "errr... dad"

Cell Mate - "Good choice. Now get over here and suck mummies dick"

 

[Gazza]

Need to hit the bottle o, running pretty low

 

[Porky]

Need to hit the bottle o, running pretty low View attachment 2523

What’s with the gold vb cans. They trying for the upperclass dero market these days.

 

[Gazza]

Haha I save them for cunts I don’t really like, while I drink the good shit

 

[Gazza]

Having a clean up shit everywhere, gave the fridge a good clean, resetting the cave for the new table.

 

[VB Seeds]

I think some of girly men might be a little bit out of ya depth hey punters\
anyone wants to go for a drink, little big or for a week, sing out hey

PORKY looks like she would go alright ? hope she bring her rabbit dog

 

[VB Seeds]

Fuck you young stnuc would be fun to party with for 1/2 a day

lets have a go , I can drink fast or slow

come girls lets do it, once we have fucked corona, its on

 

[Gazza]

Friday drinks with myself again, seen this one it’s been a few years since I last had a Bundy.

 

[Porky]

Nice gazza. Whats that worth a bottle.
They don't stock that at my local.

 

[Gazza]

Was on special for 40

 

[Gazza]

I find good range at the bigger IGA Stores

 

[Porky]

Was on special for 40

Thats very decent for a good spiced rum.

 

[Gazza]

It’s really sweet, but tastes good and it’s Aussie made.