Neighbourhood Warfare

[Yamumzbum]

I'd like to think I'm a pretty good neighbour, I often walk my elderly neighbours dog from one side of me and the other lady I pay off with buds so I don't have to worry about them occasionally copping a woft from my unit at flower time, and I'm always friendly with everyone.. except this one bitch.

She is a dead set cunt. An ex heroin addict who hates the world and everyone in it.



My brother and me were standing on my balcony (I'm on 2nd level,cunt lives on ground floor coz she's a fukn scrubber) having a chat about who knows and I hear someone tell out "what are youse looking at?" and I look down and it's this cunt standing in her dog shit riddled back yard staring up at us. She says "stop talkin about me will youse!" and I politely explained that we had far more interesting things to be discussing than her and she says "nah not you the other one!" and points to my brother so we both just walked back inside so as not to antagonise the irate junkie downstairs.



A week or so later we both happen to be checking our letterboxes at the same time,, bad timing I know. Anyway not a word was said, I had my dog sophie with me, and as she was walking away Soph walked over to her so I said in a stern but calm voice but just loud enough for her to hear "stay away from her Sophie!" and this bitch erupts and screams "Awww faark off!" and I said "no you fuck off Alex" coz that's the cunts name.. obviously her parents thought she was a cunt too. I said "my brother has autism (he doesn't although I sometimes wonder) and if he just happens to look down into your backyard then fukn deal with it!" and I followed it up with a jaunty "Go fuck yourself!" and I strolled away.



Now, to the real reason for my post.. every year this cunt downstairs grows a humongous dope plant right in the middle of her backyard amongst the horse sized shits her dog does and I've been hatching a plan to ruin this bitches crop and I've thought of three ideas.. first is super soaker with good ol roundup and one night just quietly douse her plant with that lovely stuff. The second idea was the ol pollen bomb and chuck a few bombs down there one night to seed her bud.

The third idea would be a little difficult but hilarious nonetheless. loading up my fishing rod with some heavy gauge line and fishing that bitch right out of the ground and dragging it back up onto my veranda. Fuck I'd pay to see her face the next morning lol.



Open to suggestions.
Or should I just let bogans be bogans (thats the saying isn't it?) and keep the peace?

 

[HGO]

well if you want to continue to grow where you are I'd probably not antagonize her by fucking with her plant
she might dob ya in to the cops as payback
maybe just fuck with her head a bit , you know sign her up for visits from the mormons , jehovas and any other cnuts you could get to pay her a visit . save up some piss in a bottle so it gets nice and funky then pour it over the balcony onto her patio
put up flyers around the neighborhood advertising free stuff only cookers would want but use her address

 

[med180]

I like your pollination idea. Like HGO suggests, try something subtle. Cunts will be Cunts, and things can always be worse, especially when you piss of a cunt!...don't poke the angry bear, is this the hill you want to die on?

 

[Old fox]

Let bogans be bogans. You don't want to potentially attract attention if you're growing cannabis at your place, especially if someone in the vicinity calls the cops. De-escalate.

 

[benn0]

If its happening on a regular basis, like say pension day, its probably ice use unfortunately, my sister had the same issue every fortnight and about 3 days after until the she-male that lived three doors down went to sleep.

On the other note, I'd probably use a fuckload of gibberelin in an attempt to make it herm, if not roundup all the way, leave about a quarter to an 8th of the plant untouched and she sounds crazy enough to try and smoke it in the end

 

[snooze]

I'd like to think I'm a pretty good neighbour, I often walk my elderly neighbours dog from one side of me and the other lady I pay off with buds so I don't have to worry about them occasionally copping a woft from my unit at flower time, and I'm always friendly with everyone.. except this one bitch.

She is a dead set cunt. An ex heroin addict who hates the world and everyone in it.



My brother and me were standing on my balcony (I'm on 2nd level,cunt lives on ground floor coz she's a fukn scrubber) having a chat about who knows and I hear someone tell out "what are youse looking at?" and I look down and it's this cunt standing in her dog shit riddled back yard staring up at us. She says "stop talkin about me will youse!" and I politely explained that we had far more interesting things to be discussing than her and she says "nah not you the other one!" and points to my brother so we both just walked back inside so as not to antagonise the irate junkie downstairs.



A week or so later we both happen to be checking our letterboxes at the same time,, bad timing I know. Anyway not a word was said, I had my dog sophie with me, and as she was walking away Soph walked over to her so I said in a stern but calm voice but just loud enough for her to hear "stay away from her Sophie!" and this bitch erupts and screams "Awww faark off!" and I said "no you fuck off Alex" coz that's the cunts name.. obviously her parents thought she was a cunt too. I said "my brother has autism (he doesn't although I sometimes wonder) and if he just happens to look down into your backyard then fukn deal with it!" and I followed it up with a jaunty "Go fuck yourself!" and I strolled away.



Now, to the real reason for my post.. every year this cunt downstairs grows a humongous dope plant right in the middle of her backyard amongst the horse sized shits her dog does and I've been hatching a plan to ruin this bitches crop and I've thought of three ideas.. first is super soaker with good ol roundup and one night just quietly douse her plant with that lovely stuff. The second idea was the ol pollen bomb and chuck a few bombs down there one night to seed her bud.

The third idea would be a little difficult but hilarious nonetheless. loading up my fishing rod with some heavy gauge line and fishing that bitch right out of the ground and dragging it back up onto my veranda. Fuck I'd pay to see her face the next morning lol.



Open to suggestions.
Or should I just let bogans be bogans (thats the saying isn't it?) and keep the peace?

Give her a fuck and shut her up

 

[Johnny Walker]

Want to be careful she might burn ya house down.

 

[Beil]

I've always figured leave it alone if there's a chance it could bite you.
She's a cunt, you know it, the other neighbours know it. If she's really a flog, she'll fuck up along the way anyway or either yourself or her will move.

I do like the pollen idea though. Nicking the plant will have her looking, cooking it with glyphosate could do the same or actually hurt her (maybe, might just give her a bad cough).
But pollen bombing her plant (as long as you can do it without leaving 'packages' in her yard will just confuse the shit out of her lol.

 

[Goonie Goat]

You could have born again Christians as neighbours. The clueless cunts next door burn green wood in their fireplace and it smogs up the whole block. Same thing with their charcoal barbecue. I'd love to chuck some dog turds on it but it already smells like shit anyway..

 

[Billygoat]

Give her a fuck and shut her up

My thoughts too. So much sexual tension….

 

[One Drop]

I’d leave sleeping dogs lie she probably has a police history and being the unstable woman you described she would have the old plod wrapped around her finger if she goes off at you just looking at her , but in the light hearted answer I’d drop the heavy line and rip it out of the ground that would be a spectacle indeed … again you have your shit to keep in one sock don’t let a 2 pit trash heap ruin your life mate . Just my 2 cents worth . Old Drop

 

[itchybro]

you have more to lose @Yamumzbum
keep your friends close , keep your enemies closer
destroying someones crop isn't cool imo & can only bring bad karma to your doorstep
make friends not enemies that way you have much more control over her than she'll ever need to realize
gather intel coming in & control / limit intel going out = never tell her you grow or tell her anything that can be used
against you , cool to say love me dog , walk the old bitty next doors dog , bro on spectrum = all cool info to pass on imo , shows your a nice bloke

 

[Mellow oldfark]

Besides all else " don't fuk with a woman" drugfucked or not!

 

[Hudo]

When growing I've always carried the notion love thy neighbour. No matter how big a cunt I've always gone out of my way to not give anybody a reason

 

[Yamumzbum]

If its happening on a regular basis, like say pension day, its probably ice use unfortunately, my sister had the same issue every fortnight and about 3 days after until the she-male that lived three doors down went to sleep.

On the other note, I'd probably use a fuckload of gibberelin in an attempt to make it herm, if not roundup all the way, leave about a quarter to an 8th of the plant untouched and she sounds crazy enough to try and smoke it in the end

Yea there's a lot of users here in Canberra it's pretty bad especially the heroin addicts they're always stumbling around throwing up or laying out in the sun lol but it's not just the heroin users, over the weekend theres pissed cunts everywhere trying to throw punches it's fucked i followed this drunk old fuck onto a bus a few weeks ago and he almost made it to the third step, stopped, muttered something then bagan falling back towards me coz I was right behind him so I just stepped out of the way and let him fall back down the stairs.. now that may seem a bit mean but fuck him I'm built like a Greyhound for speed lol not built for catching fat drunk cunts he would have flattened me.


The thing with methamphetamine right, it's the most powerful stimulant known to man and once you experience a feeling so incredibly intense, you never forget it.


There is truth to "one use and you're hooked" but not in the way most see it.



Yea I think I'll let bogans be bogans

 

[Yamumzbum]

Give her a fuck and shut her up

Haha y'know this all started I think because she asked me one day to come n check out her plants but I can see them from my balcony and they're nothing special so I never did and she's had it out for me ever sinct

 

[Yamumzbum]

you have more to lose @Yamumzbum
keep your friends close , keep your enemies closer
destroying someones crop isn't cool imo & can only bring bad karma to your doorstep
make friends not enemies that way you have much more control over her than she'll ever need to realize
gather intel coming in & control / limit intel going out = never tell her you grow or tell her anything that can be used
against you , cool to say love me dog , walk the old bitty next doors dog , bro on spectrum = all cool info to pass on imo , shows your a nice bloke

You are the voice of reason @itchybro and you're absolutely right I think I just needed to vent and instead of venting on Reddit I thought I'd vent to you lovely chaos

 

[Yamumzbum]

When growing I've always carried the notion love thy neighbour. No matter how big a cunt I've always gone out of my way to not give anybody a reason

You're a better person than I am currently but I do strive to achieve that level of empathy.

Thanks mate

 

[Yamumzbum]

I’d leave sleeping dogs lie she probably has a police history and being the unstable woman you described she would have the old plod wrapped around her finger if she goes off at you just looking at her , but in the light hearted answer I’d drop the heavy line and rip it out of the ground that would be a spectacle indeed … again you have your shit to keep in one sock don’t let a 2 pit trash heap ruin your life mate . Just my 2 cents worth . Old Drop

Haha yea I kinda liked the thought of her waking up to just a hole in the ground too

 

[Indy]

What is it with these junkie prostitutes, (ex or otherwise) in these complexes. Only ever been into two of them on a regular basis 'n yet they're the loudest shitcunts that think they run the joint.

One lost her shit at me once when I was dropping off some groceries for an older lady, and this cunt of a thing had a shot at me for parking in the complex. The fuckin' thing was going off at the back-door. So when was coming back out, I gave her a serve about who the fuck she thought she was, and asked if she thought she managed the complex. Eventually told her to fuck off to her own unit. By then, I was back in my car ready to head out. To which by this time she gone back to her unit and russled up her boyfriend who came out ranting and raving about some cunt having a go at his missus. To which, I swung back up out the car and said to him, who are you calling a cunt? Well, this skinny fuck went white as a ghost and said to the missus, get the camera out darlin' and gingerly made his way back to their unit while watching what my next move was going to be. At least the he was smart enough to tell the missus that one. Because if she didn't, this fucker was about to get smeared all over the carpark

I hope the cunt of thing learnt a lesson that day about getting a look at someone before calling them a cunt. Fuckin Gutter trash junkies..

EDIT: As itchy mentioned, don't mess with another growers crop, regardless. Otherwise, bad juju coming your way.